It just took me 45 minutes to figure out what my password was to this blog and how to get in it. It's been that long. I could have done another load of laundry, put away dishes and taken a siesta in that amount of time. Stupid. Stupid, Stupid.
Instead, I thought it important to document on this ancient computer of mine what it really takes to be a mom of multiple children. I do this (about twice a year) because people keep telling me I'll miss this, or I'll wish I would've written this stuff down, and my all time favorite- you'll look back and laugh some day! But as I come in the house, carrying my 5 year old with a skinned knee, bloody knuckles and one shoe, I think to myself, "How did I get here and where did this endurance come from?", because that's exactly what motherhood is: The ultimate test of endurance and patience. I go back to the car that we borrowed from our grandma (transmission is out of my clunker of a suburban) and grab the other child who is moments away from getting car sick. I drop her off and go back to the car for the third and final child (I think....right?) and get him undone from the car seat as he screams and kicks because I took his precious thumb out of his mouth while he sleeps on a blanket that CLEARLY needs washed again, and take him to his bed for a very late nap. Then it's rushing back down the stairs and decide...which child do I help next? The one on the couch crying about a bloody finger and scraped knee, or the one in the bathroom screaming because she's sick? Door number 2 it is, and I run to the bathroom to get her cleaned up and settled down. Then I grab the bandages and antibiotics to calm the second. Lay daughter #1 down, get her a drink and blanket, and go for daughter #2. She then decides it's not that bad and only wants a drink. And a snack. And a blanket. And a .....ask me for one more thing and you'll see smoke, my love ;)
Breathe. Breathe. Breathe......
What I would give for someone to wait on me, carry me in, get my snacks and drinks and blankets. But when you become a mother of more than 2...your needs are looooonnnnngggg gone, and in its place is a list even longer of the needs of your family. I say more than 2, because 2 seemed doable. Way easier than 3. Two could be managed and usually they were both happy or just one upset. With 3, it's always one of them. Somebody needs something at nearly all hours of the day. So don't even think about your need to sleep, eat, comb your hair, run your errands or lose those 10 lbs (that they put on you). Wait, you have a career, too?! Silly woman! You will forever be at their service. I imagine that won't change much as they grow older because I know even now, as my mom reads this blog (bless her heart, a mother of 4!!), she is running through her mind of ways she can help me out.
I live out these days, one by one, not sure I can do one more like it. I pray daily that I'll enjoy this time, that I won't be so tired and exhausted and needy myself, so I can give more to my family and be happy while doing it. But I'm also honest about it...and I don't think I would have ever had 3 children had I known the effort it requires. Thank goodness God decided for us quickly...and still puts the idea of another in my heart. I think He keeps me plenty busy so I don't have time to dwell on these things, because time to myself is a dangerous concept that leaves me ready to quit. Of course I never would....I'm a mother after all. And quitting isn't an option.
