A Shout Out to Mothers of Sons

I have only been a mother of a son for a little over one year now and I'm not sure I'll survive.  Don't get me wrong, I love him dearly. He is precious in more ways than I can count.  But he's also rough, adventurous, and fearless.  I'm more comfortable with my girls...the ones who were delicate at birth, easy to relate to, calm (for the most part).  Kaylea came nearly 4 weeks early and was so sweet and precious.

  Being the first we were cautious with her, held her all the time, and gazed at her for hours on end.  She is still the dainty little princess we imagined, a smart, beautiful, careful little 5 year old we love so much. 

Then there came Natalie.  A second girl to play with her sister. She gave us fits for awhile, but still a tiny little princess to care for and love.  She immediately fit into our family perfectly and I connected with her just as quickly as I did with Kaylea. 

Now Natalie is a vibrant, beautiful, funny little 3 year old princess we love so much. Though we often butt heads because there are 3 girls in the house, I know how they're thinking, what they're feeling and how to make it better. They are completely opposite in nearly every way, but I get it.  I know them, I know girls. They light up our lives :) 

We didn't find out with any of our children what we were having before they were born. I suggest this to anyone who asks me. It was fun and incredible to find out boy or girl the moment they came.  And we never wanted others to be disappointed .  Especially after having two girls back to back, everyone I came in contact with would ask me if I was hoping for a boy and if we'd keep trying till we got one.  I hated this.  Of course it would be nice to have a son, but if God intended for us to have 3 girls then that's what we'd have. My concern was not their sex, but their health.  And so God gave us a healthy 8 lb. 10 oz baby boy for child #3. 

Carter did not come in to this world like his dainty little sisters.  The girls gave me time, I had epidurals, I was smiling through their births.  This boy came in as fast, as loud and as BIG as he possibly could!  I swore up and down I'd never have a child naturally, I wasn't cut out for it. So as most "I'll never" statements in parenthood often end up, that's exactly what happened.  Either way, we were blessed with a HEALTHY little boy to love. 
I have to admit I was a bit terrified to learn I had a son. What the heck was I going to do with him?  Would he love me like my girls do?  What exactly is "normal" for a boy, anyway?  Questions and worries streamed through my mind but I figured I could handle it. He is a baby after all, and I love babies :) 

But then it hit me...what if he's like his dad?!? What if he gets excited about speed and dirt and thinks AFTER he leaps?  What if he does stupid stuff for the fun of it and how much insurance do we need to cover  him when he does?  My mind started racing again until I decided I could keep that stuff at bay.  I stay at home with him every day so I would be his primary influence.  Surely after so many tea parties with his sisters and days of drawing flowers and rainbows on the sidewalk he would be somewhat reserved. 

One year later I have realized this isn't possible. The boy is in him, the Farrell part of him cannot be held back.  He climbs on EVERYTHING, he eats EVERYTHING, he goes as fast as he can and gets hurt on EVERYTHING!! By the end of the day I am exhausted, frustrated and in disbelief at his new accomplishments.  I prided myself on the fact I didn't have to completely baby proof our house because if you told the girls no, they listened. Now I'm stocking up on cabinet locks, outlet covers, and contemplating toilet locks!  This is crazy!  I'm going mad chasing one boy up and down stairs, pulling him off the oven door, yanking him away from the toilet lid.  How do mothers of more than ONE son do it???  Where does your energy come from, where do you find your sanity?  Are they all like this? 

I love him to pieces, and the love between a mommy and her son is unlike any other, for sure, but I often find myself holding out for those days when I don't have to pull him off of a pile of sharp rocks or scoop out dirt from his mouth.  I realize these days will come and then I'll have two teenage girls to deal with. I'll be wishing for this time again, but at least then Carter won't be eating dirt and climbing rocks.  Or maybe he will...either way he'll be stable enough to climb on his own and old enough to remove the dirt himself  ;) 

Lessons Learned from Exercise

Since having Carter and knowing he was our last birth child, I have been on a mission to get my body back.  Although I've been pregnant since I was 21, I am STILL in my 20's and would like to at least look close ;)  So after Carter began sleeping through the night around 5-6 months, I have been doing my best to wake up at 4:30 and make it to the gym by 5 a.m., then come home by 6:30 so Sean can leave for work. I haven't been consistent until the last few months, but I have lost weight, gained energy, and picked up a few lessons along the way...

1.  Getting up at 4:30 a.m. sucks

2.  Once I get out of bed, the rest is a piece of cake.

3.  You really DO have more energy if you exercise.  Though my day starts early, I'm not rolling out of bed when my 3 kids are in my face whining, "I'm hungry, I want milk, Can I watch a movie?" and the baby's crying.  An hour of peace and no demands is vital to my soul....and sanity. 

4.  It works.  As a senior in high school I was a size 2, and that's AFTER I got hips.  My husband and I both agree looking back that size 2 was way too small, sickening almost.  After Carter, I was a size 11.  Kid. You. Not.  I only tell you the sizes so that you can see how much I gained.  Size 11 on a frame that can be size 2 (although not pretty) is craziness. But after 9 months of eating like a mad-man, walking as little as possible and wearing those glorious, stretchy maternity clothes multiplied by 3, it happened.  The size I am now doesn't matter. It's a number, but it's not 2 and it's not 11. I'm comfortable, confident and almost secure ;) 

5.  My determination has increased in health and in habit.  I'm motivated to go work-out because I can see those abs coming to the surface and I WILL see them again, even if it kills me.
    I use to leave the dishes in the sink, laundry unfolded on the table and floors unswept.  I still do...a lot...but I have moments where I push myself a little harder, a little longer, and finish those dishes, sweep the floor, and at least put the clothes in a basket so it doesn't look so overwhelming.  I said my determination has increased, not reached it's peak.

6.  My kids are picking up on it.  When they wake up they see me in my exercise clothes, they ask me if I had a good work-out (because they hear Daddy ask) and eventually they "wake up" and want to do the same.  They're seeing their mom make health a priority and they're following by lead. This makes the early alarm, sleepy drive, and burning thighs worth it.

7.  I'm happier, more focused and less stressed.  It doesn't happen every day, but it's becoming more and more common, and I'm loving the results.

Now off to bed, 4:30 a.m. comes pretty early!  
 

Back to a time....

 In celebration of our oldest, Kaylea, graduating from Safety Town today, I took her and her friend to their choice restaurant...McDonald's.  I realize this instantly provides a wide variety of parents/children.  There are those who show up at 12 p.m. in their p.j.'s ready to feed their children a delightful breakfast of chicken nuggets and fries, those who need to burn off some energy before nap time, and those who were begged from kids on hands and knees to go "just this once, pretty please!"  We began the normal routine, "eat before you play, I'll open the toy AFTER you finish your lunch, go UP the stairs, DOWN the slide..."  but there was one precious girl who ruled the house. Not even 3 yet, she immediately came up to our table and told me to move, she was sitting there. With a smile on my face I pointed to a table across the room and said she may go sit in THAT empty chair.  Her mom grabbed her hand and drug her over there as she plotted to terrorize the next victim, only that victim was me, again.  The girls left their toys sitting on the table and as this precious angel shoved a whole nugget in her mouth she snatched that toy and blurted out "mine" and walked away. I kindly told her that was not hers and to please return it to me.  Her mom looked up from her phone and demanded she give it back, then looked back to her phone. This story continues for 10 minutes as the girl continues shoving food in her mouth and stomping her way to the top of the playground.  Twice she sat at the end of the slide not allowing anyone to pass through. She had 7 kids bigger than her hijacked in the slide, yelling for her to move! I looked around at every parent in that room and EVERY SINGLE ONE was playing on his/her phone, unaware that their children were yelling for help.  I removed the little girl twice by talking to her and the third time broke the camel's back. In fear of having police come after me for touching a child who wasn't mine, I picked that girl up out of the slide and told her that she wasn't playing nice and she needed to go somewhere else. I literally had an argument with this child for 5 minutes before her mother looked up from her phone and came to get her!

  I'll be the first to admit I'm on my phone entirely way too much.  And maybe that was just what this was...a reminder to focus on my children rather than the events of 452 friends on facebook.  Either way I couldn't help but wish it were a time where phones weren't so functional.  A time when we actually focused on the day, praying we wouldn't forget, rather than yanking out the camera phone; stopping our children in their tracks to get a picture that probably won't turn out.  My children take notice of when they are doing something exceptional and tell me to take a picture. How embarrassing :(  I am notorious for always having my camera and taking lots of pictures to get that perfect shot, but for my children to tell me they're being cute so I better take a pic, ugh. I've failed.  Such a hard reminder today to put the technology away and "be" with my kids.
  Speaking of, they've been on my lap and at my feet for the last 2 paragraphs...I better go "be".  :)